


In Contempt

by Pepper_Sanders



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-09 01:23:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19879276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepper_Sanders/pseuds/Pepper_Sanders
Summary: Eliott Demaury and Lucas Lallemant are two attorneys who work at the same firm. A chance meeting in an elevator ignites a romance that they can’t ignore.Key reference points to the original story (re-telling AU)WARNING: Sexual orientation may be interpreted to be different from canonSome sex scenes or referencesSome mature languageEaster eggAnd some Britney, bitch!





	1. Chapter 1

**Lucas**

They were calling it the storm of the century, except Lucas hadn’t heard shit because he had been sequestered in his office for two days. The rain had been pouring down steadily outside the large windows that ran the length of his office. Lightning zig-zagged across the sky, and thunder rumbled in the dark night. He worked at a swanky enough firm, so he had been able to shower and sleep in the overnight rooms. The billable hour ruled, and this year he was on track to make enough hours to get a sizeable bonus. He had big plans for that bonus.

His phone had died hours ago, and he had forgotten his charger at home. He finally pulled himself away from the boxes of papers to check his email on his desk computer. It was the technology age, where everything was electronic and digital, but the defendants were being assholes and had sent some of the discovery request documents in hardcopy form (just enough so they wouldn’t be sanctioned by the judge). He’d have usually given the job of sorting through papers to more junior associates; his friend and colleague, Yann, had basically begged him to do just that, but he was looking for a very specific document that could make or break their case and didn’t trust anyone else to find it.

The latest email was from the firm’s managing partner; it had gone out to everyone in the firm to confirm that the staff was safe and didn’t require assistance. The weather channels were reporting floods and tornadoes for the area. Based on the responses, only him and one other attorney, an Eliott Demaury, were crazy enough to still be in the building. The firm rented the top five floors of a thirty-floor Downtown building; he was on the 29th floor. He looked out his office’s large window to the street below. It appeared the weather was getting worse, and it was late; it was time to pack up and go.

He placed his computer in his bag, grabbed his jacket, wallet, and keys, and grabbed one of the more promising boxes to dig through later. His elevator opened on the 28th floor. A tall, blue-eyed guy with the kind of hair that was messy but so well done that you knew it cost him a fortune to get it styled just so, stood waiting. What a poser, but a good looking one...very good looking, Lucas thought to himself, as he studied the sharp features of his angular face.

“Eliott?” he asked. 

“Hi, Luca,” Eliott replied as he stepped into the elevator, flashing a bright smile that made Lucas instantly smile as well. He had slung his dark blue jacket over his broad shoulders. His white dress shirt had a couple of top buttons undone, showing just a glimpse of a smooth, tanned chest beneath.

Now Lucas remembered who Eliott was-- the accent, the good looks. Lucas had been so hellbent on proving himself the past year that he hadn’t paid much attention to office gossip, but most of the support staff and many of the attorneys were abuzz with news about the good looking new attorney from the Paris office. There had been rumors of some sort of office scandal, but no details. He knew Mika, the lead paralegal of the litigation group would have all the juicy details soon. Lucas really didn’t care about the gossip; the job was stressful and most of the partners who had been there for some time had some kind of dark mark against them. Eliott wasn’t a partner, yet, but he was a couple of years ahead of Lucas and would be going up for partnership voting soon. 

“So, we are the only ones stupid enough to be up here with a storm barreling down on the city, huh?”

“Yea, looks that way,” Lucas replied. “Think we’re safe in -.”

He didn't finish his sentence. The elevator lurched and then came to an abrupt stop. The bright lights switched off, and a red, silent blinking light filled the elevator car.

“Ah, Putain!” Eliott swore as he pressed the open door button several times.

“I don’t think that’s going to do anything,” Lucas said. 

He knew he sounded resigned. He had been having a shitty year, so he was used to everything going wrong. His life had gone full-blown Murphy’s Law the last couple of years, from the shitty breakup with his ex-girlfriend to having to take time off the year before to help his mom. He had put in so many hours the last several months to prove that he deserved to be back on the partnership track; plus, now that he was single again, he had a lot more time to give to the job. Lucas pushed the emergency and call button, but nothing happened.

Eliott had moved to the back of the elevator. He leaned on the railing against the rear wall, and...posed? Was he still posing? It was just so effortless for him to look so cool and collected right before they went hurtling through the shaft to their deaths. Lucas’s brain told him there were mechanisms in place to prevent that from happening, but his shaking hands told a different story.

“You’re not worried?” Lucas asked.

Eliott shrugged. “I’m sure we’re on standby power, and the generator will kick in soon. We’ll be on our way again in no time.”

Lucas squinted his eyes. “You sound so sure.” He suddenly remembered something else he had heard about Eliott. The reason he hadn’t been kicked to the curb, and had been transferred to a new office instead of fired. He was a natural in the courtroom, charismatic and passionate. He had the reputation of being a great, upcoming litigator. “I call bullshit.”

Eliott laughed. Even in the weird, red light, Lucas saw his eyes crinkle into half-moons, the long lashes hiding the blue-grey irises beneath. “Are you scared of the dark?”

“I’m not scared,” Lucas said defensively. His voice had come out a little higher than normal. He coughed once to clear his throat. “I’m not scared at all.”

Eliott laughed again. “Ok, I believe you.”

“Ok, I’m a little worried. I think there’s air flowing,” he said, nervously looking around. “But who’s coming to help us? Do you have your phone on you?”

Eliott pulled out his phone, showing Lucas that the signal was non-existent. Lucas pressed the emergency and call buttons again, hoping someone, somewhere was coming to help them soon. 

Fifteen minutes later and Lucas felt like he was starting to hyperventilate; he hated small, dark spaces. It was hot and muggy now in the elevator car. Eliott had moved to sit in one of the corners. Lucas noticed that another button of his shirt was undone. He had also rolled up his shirt-sleeves, revealing slim but muscular arms. He was staring intently at Lucas. 

“You, ok?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“I don’t know,” Lucas answered truthfully.

“Come here,” Eliott commanded. Lucas was hesitant at first; he didn’t know why, but after a small pause he walked over to sit beside Eliott “Let me see your hand.” He must have seen the puzzled look on Lucas’s face because he softened his tone. “I won’t bite, trust me...unless you want me to.” 

Lucas wasn’t sure he had heard him right. Had he just offered to bite him? Eliott had sort of mumbled the last part, so Lucas didn’t press him to repeat it. He gave him his hand and felt something shift inside him as Eliott pulled him closer. Eliott massaged and pulled his fingers, working all the way up to his elbow and back down again. It felt...intimate, and Lucas’s first instinct was to pull away, but it felt so good that he let himself relax.

“Now, breathe slowly, in...out.”

Lucas did as he was told. At first, his eyes were closed, but when he opened them, Eliott was staring at him. The look in his eyes was so intense, that Lucas quickly closed his eyes again. Damn, he could see why he was such a terror in the courtroom. Who could resist those eyes in that face, and Lucas was feeling...things. He was feeling all sorts of things, so he pulled his hand away even though every nerve in his body was fighting against it.

He moved a few inches from Eliott and mumbled a quick thank you. When he looked back at Eliott, his eyes were half-closed and he wore a small smile on his lips. Well, at least he hadn’t been offended, or had he?

Eliott took a deep breath. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes...I do.”

“The massage thing...it was something I learned when I was in the Peace Corps before law school.” 

“So you’re from here?”

“Yea, I grew up in the States and I attended law school here. My dad worked in government, and we moved around a bit before settling in France when I was in my early teens."

“That sounds pretty interesting.”

“It was and it wasn’t. Imagine trying to learn a new language, trying to make friends...” 

His background explained his natural self-possession but also provided insight into why he seemed like a loner. Lucas could barely make it out in the dim light, but there was something in Eliott’s eyes - regret, sadness? He didn’t push and decided to change the subject.

“How was the Peace Corps?”

“I met some good people, thought I made a small difference in the world...or at least tricked myself into thinking that I had, and then I sold my soul to work at a law firm.”

“We’re doing some good work for some good people. I’m actually working on a case now against a big company that sold faulty medical equipment to the public.”

“You’re talking about the Duvall case?” Eliott asked.

“Yea, that one.”

“Luca, nothing is done for free. Yes, most of the plaintiffs are the little guys, but the firm is doing it for the notoriety and advertising, not from the good of their heart.”

“I don’t think everything is so black and white. If we help these people, they get the help they need. Their life is better even if the firm profits from it in other ways. We aren’t exploiting them.”

“That’s true, but we represent big clients like the defendant all the time. We’re on the right side this time, and that’s rare.”

Lucas was quiet, he didn’t want to seem naive. He wasn’t naive; he understood Elliot’s point, but he was so tired of everything being so negative in his life that it had felt good to work on a case he was actually passionate about. 

“I took some time off, too, before going to law school,” Lucas shared. “I thought I was going to be some famous pianist, or at least able to play full time and support myself. It didn’t work out that way...but like you, I met some great people along the way.” 

It had been a good time in his life. It was the last time he remembered everything making sense. One of those great people he had met had been Chloe, his ex. Their relationship had been going well for a long time until something suddenly changed in the last couple of years, or maybe the change hadn't been so sudden to Chloe. The argument that had been the final argument revealed that they had been in two very different relationships. Chloe confessed that she had been unhappy for a very long time. She pointed out that their sex life had been almost non-existent in the last couple of years even though neither of them had been unfaithful. 

Lucas hadn’t had many sexual partners before Chloe. He hadn't dated much in college, and most of the “dating” back then had consisted of a lot of heavy petting and quick blowjobs in dorm rooms. He thought it had been the same for other guys as well, but he found out later, that had not been the case, especially for guys like him who were constantly hit on by the opposite sex.

So when he met Chloe, a year after graduating from college, he had been questioning what he wanted. He had always had an attraction to men but had never acted on those feelings before, mostly because the ones he was attracted to all seemed straight. He and Chloe had started out as friends, sharing a deep love for classical music. Their sexual attraction had developed slowly over time. The sex had been good, but never great, and then had fizzled to nothing by the end. He still missed her friendship and companionship, but could admit, with a little distance from the ugly breakup, that the relationship had been unfair to her, and maybe to him as well.

“Yoo-hoo, Earth to Luca. Where did you go?” Eliott asked. “Remembering simpler times?”

“Something like that,” Lucas admitted. “So you came over from the Paris office, huh?”

“Yea.” Eliott didn’t say anything else, so Lucas didn’t press. After a moment, Eliott looked up, again staring directly in Lucas’s eyes. “You heard some shit?”

Lucas was going to lie, but for some reason couldn’t. “Not much. I don’t know any details...everyone has some kind of shit in their past.”

“I guess,” Eliott said. “I just let stress and other personal stuff get the best of me,” he finally admitted by way of explanation.

“Oh, I’ve been there.”

“Really?” Eliott asked.

“The last two years have been kind of rough. I had to take time off last year to help my mom, and the year before that I had an epic breakup with my ex.”

“Boyfriend?” Eliott asked.

“Uh-Huh?” Lucas stuttered. “Um no, a _girl_ -friend; it was an ex-girlfriend.” Lucas hesitated before asking the question on his lips, but they had been stuck for almost an hour, and it seemed help was not on its way. He wondered if there were cameras in the elevator, and some twisted technician was somewhere eating popcorn as he gleefully watched two overpaid attorneys turn into puddles of sweat. “Is there something about me that made you ask that?”

“No...It’s no big deal, just wishful thinking on my part.” He flashed that smile again at Lucas and then looked up at the ceiling of the elevator car. 

Lucas felt his heart or stomach (other body parts may have been involved as well) lurch in response. For once he had no words.

“Anyway,” Eliott continued as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb in the middle of a very casual conversation. Or had it been casual? Lucas was unsure now. “The ceiling is too high for us to try to climb out, and I am starving.”

Lucas’s stomach growled in response causing Eliott to laugh. Eliott dug into his briefcase. “The only thing I have are these two chocolate granola bars that I swiped from my secretary’s desk. She’s always eating them, so they must be pretty good. I also grabbed a bottle of water, if you want to share.”

“You’ve been holding out on me!” Lucas exclaimed.

“I honestly forgot all about them, and I thought we’d be out of here by now.”

He handed Lucas one of the bars, and they ate and drank in silence. Lucas was a bit of a germaphobe but had no qualms drinking after Eliott.

“So, do you have a girlfriend... or boyfriend?” Lucas asked. Lucas knew he could have just asked if he was dating someone, but he wanted to know the specific answer.

Lucas smiled as Eliott almost choked on his water. He had been the cool one in the conversation, so it secretly felt good to catch him off guard.

“It’s complicated,” Eliott finally answered.

“Hmm...”

“It is!” Eliott said defensively. He laid his head against the wall.

“Is that your Facebook relationship status?” Lucas teased.

Eliott laughed as he took another swig of water. Somehow the distance between them had lessened, and Lucas’s hand was now right by Eliott’s. He looked down and studied Eliott’s long fingers. He wore silver rings...and black nail polish. They were the hands of a rock musician, not an attorney, and were in sharp contrast to the suit...but not the hair and not those eyes. No, those matched perfectly.

Eliott touched Lucas’s hand. The touch was soft and slight but intentional. Lucas didn’t look up, but felt something heavy and electric in the small space between them, not so unlike the storm outside. A million questions flashed in his mind, not the least of which being, did he want to pursue anything with someone who had a relationship status that was a question mark? He felt rather than saw Eliott move closer, but he was stuck, frozen in place, wanting something to happen, but waiting.

There was a bump as the elevator restarted and the lights above them flickered, then came back on. Lucas felt like he had been dumped in cold water, the soft mood of a second ago now erased in the elevator’s harsh light. They both stood up and dusted themselves off. Lucas was finally able to look up at Eliott; he gave a soft smile, which was greeted by Eliott’s own.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lucas**

“I can walk you to your car,” Eliott offered.

It caught Lucas off-guard. He was a grown man, why would he need Eliott to walk him to his car? Should he have offered to walk Eliott to his? Then he remembered, he had parked on the top floor days ago. He was not climbing the stairs and was definitely not getting in any more elevators that day. The rain was coming down harder now; the area would flood in the next few hours.

“I’m parked on the top level,” Lucas said.

Eliott paused, thinking. “If you don’t need to get your car now, you can come by my place for a few hours until the rain lets up a bit and it’s safe to come back. You can at least shower and get some rest. I live near Downtown, so I’m close, and I’m parked on a bottom level because I had to charge.”

Lucas thought about it for a second. It wasn’t a bad idea. He lived further South, and it probably wasn’t safe for him to drive home just yet. “Ok, let’s do that. If it’s not too much inconvenience for you.”

“No inconvenience at all.”

Lucas followed Eliott to the second floor of the garage. The garage was empty and quiet, except for the steady beat of the rain on the surrounding streets. It felt like they were the last two people on Earth. They finally reached Eliott's car and headed to the East side of the city. Eliott slowly navigated the quickly flooding streets, but they finally made it to a row of slick three-story townhomes in a gated enclave. They had been mostly silent during the ride, each caught in his own thoughts.

Eliott pulled up to the gate and flashed a key card at the reader, but the gate didn’t budge. They looked around, there were no lights on in any of the homes.

“Shit.” Eliott plugged his now dead phone into the car’s charging system. They waited a few minutes until the phone restarted. He dialed a number and waited patiently for someone to pick up. After several rings, Lucas heard a voice on the other end say hello. “I need entry to the gate at Madison Heights, Downtown Houston,” Eliott said. “My code is 12500.” He waited a few minutes, and Lucas heard more talking on the other end. “Really?” Eliott exclaimed.

“It’s not opening, they think it’s storm related,” he explained to Lucas. “They’re sending someone as soon as possible, but we’re probably going to have to go on foot.”

They looked around. Heavy sheets of rain poured from the sky.

“I don’t have a generator, but I have candles...if you’re still afraid of the dark. We’re going to have to make a run for it, though. Hope you’re not scared of the rain, too.”

“I’m not scared of rain...lightning, perhaps,” Lucas said as he looked at the sky. “I’m guessing you don’t keep an umbrella in the car.”

“Sorry,” Eliott said. 

Eliott parked the car near a side entry. They jumped out and ran to the gate. Eliott quickly punched in a code, and Lucas followed as they ran toward Eliott’s place. For some reason, Lucas had the giggles, and they were contagious because Eliott also started to laugh. He followed him through a small alley and then up to the door marked 215. The overhang was thin and did not cover them from the pounding rain. Eliott dropped his keys and they both reached down to pick them up at the same time, bumping heads in the process. 

A loud crack of thunder boomed across the sky that caused Lucas to instinctively grab for Eliott, which made Eliott pause. He didn’t think, they couldn’t even make it long enough to unlock the door, and thinking back, Lucas couldn’t remember who made the first move. His lips met Eliott’s and all at once he forgot the thunder and the rain, forgot everything except how good it felt to be kissed so deeply and passionately. Eliott grabbed his face, and pressed his lips firmly against his own, their tongues touched and Lucas tasted his mouth, pushed upward to get more, each seemingly unable to get enough of the other. The rain fell around them and they were drenched in the onslaught but didn’t care. Another loud boom of thunder finally brought them to their senses and they separated, both breathing heavily.

“Shit,” Eliott said, and Lucas didn’t know if he was referring to the thunder or the kiss. Eliott finally undid the lock and they entered a large foyer. 

The room was quiet, dark. Eliott tried to flick the lights on, but as they had guessed, all power was out. “Let me get candles, stay right here.”

Lucas was dazed. He didn’t know what the kiss meant, but he had never felt like that with anyone before. 

Eliott finally found candles, and Lucas helped light and place them in the bedroom and bathroom. Eliott had given him privacy to take a shower while he took his clothes to be dried. It seemed that he was letting Lucas decide what happened or didn’t happen. Lucas would catch him looking at him, but he would turn away, pretend to be busy finding towels or clothing.

While Eliott showered, Lucas toweled himself off and put on a pair of pajama bottoms that were a little too long for his smaller frame and height. He rinsed his mouth with the mouthwash he found in one of the bathroom cabinets. He didn’t know what would happen, but he knew he wanted to kiss him again.

“So...I guess we need to talk about what just happened,” Lucas said when Eliott returned to the room. Eliott wore a pair of blue briefs. He was thin but fit as if he took the time to work out regularly.

“We don’t have to, it doesn’t have to be awkward.”

“Oh, I don’t think we formally met. Hi, my name is Lucas ‘always awkward in relationships’ Lallemant.”

Eliott laughed. “So, we’re in a relationship now?”

Lucas almost swallowed his tongue, why did he say that?

“It’s ok, I’m just messing with you. My name is Eliott ‘make things even more awkward in relationships’ Demaury. It’s nice to meet you,” he joked. “Anyway, you don’t have to be awkward with me.”

Lucas felt his face flush a little, but he quickly recovered and moved to sit on the edge of the large bed. The bed was simple but comfortable. A long, thin handcrafted headboard ran the full length of the wall. Looking around the room, Lucas noticed Eliott liked wood and neutral colors, except for the paintings on the wall, those were full of color. An abstract piece in blues and pinks caught his eye.

“Who’s the artist?" he asked. He nodded in the direction of the piece.

“That’s one of mine.”

“One of yours? Lucas grabbed a nearby candle and walked over, studying the artwork closely. I like it. You have many talents it seems.”

Eliott smiled. Now he was the one blushing. “It’s just a hobby, another path I was too chickenshit to take.” Eliott was sitting on the bed now, studying Lucas again.

“Hmmm,” Lucas murmured, returning to sit on the bed. 

“I can sleep on the couch tonight,” Eliott said.

“It’s your bed, I can sleep on the couch.” Lucas paused. “But I’d rather we just both slept in here tonight. Just...I don’t know if I’m quite ready to-”

Eliott kissed him then, just a quick brush of his lips against his own to quiet him. “We don’t have to do anything that you’re not ready to do.”

Lucas nodded, “Ok.”

The thunder boomed, and the sound of pattering rain against the windows and the soft glow of candlelight formed a soft cocoon around them as they lay in Eliott’s bed, lost again in each other’s kisses and arms. They never fully undressed but Lucas had never felt so connected to any other person in his life. It was the most intimate, soul-shaking experience he had ever known. It was exhilarating, like lightning in a bottle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Eliott**

Eliott woke before Lucas the next morning. The rain had stopped sometime in the night, and sunlight streamed through the sheer-curtained window. He felt Lucas stir beside him, but he didn’t wake. He had been looking at him since he had awoken several minutes earlier. A shaft of light fell on Lucas’s face, and Eliott was mesmerized by the contrast of sharp and soft angles. Lucas had a classical face, one made for painting - a fine nose, thin but full lips, long lashes, an olive undertone to his creamy skin. His hair, full and thick, was splayed against the thick, white pillow. He slept...prettily...that was the only way Eliott could describe it, his lips slightly parted, face rested, no drool or snoring, just soft, light breathing, as if he dreamed of fluffy bunnies or unicorns. 

Although Lucas slept softly, he slept deeply, and Eliott was thankful for that because Eliott knew he twisted and turned in bed, often haunted by nightmares he never could quite remember, and so, if they were to have a future together, he would need someone with a compatible sleeping style. He couldn’t believe he was actually letting himself dream of a future with Lucas, but he knew that if he really got to know him, he’d run for the hills.

Eliott forced himself to just enjoy what was happening in the moment. It had been a while since he had just been intimate with someone without it evolving or devolving (depending on the person) to sex. He had been content with what Lucas was willing to offer, but he’d had to use all his willpower to not ask for anything further, especially when he found Lucas’s spot, right at the base of his neck between his ear and collarbone. 

He had kissed and sucked him there, pinning him down lightly on the bed. The move had caused Lucas to squirm and let out a quiet whine that had almost been Eliott’s complete undoing. He had barely been able to regain control. In that moment, he had wanted to make love to him, brand him, write his name on his heart, but all he could do was repeat Lucas’s name over and over again into his open mouth. He reined in his need and moved to kiss other areas of Lucas’s body -- his chest, stomach, and back. He memorized every inch of him as he traced his skin with his fingertips. 

He tried to fight it, but his mind wandered again to a future with Lucas, a future where he would not have had to quickly hide the medicine bottles that had been in the cabinet the night before while Lucas was fumbling in the dark with the candles. It had been a good thing he had moved them because Lucas had gone looking in the cabinets for mouthwash; Eliott had tasted it on his tongue.

Lucas finally turned again, this time opening one eye, the blue like the brightest, clearest sapphire. A purplish bruise marred the smooth skin at his neck.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Eliott teased.

Lucas stretched and yawned, then pulled himself up on his elbows, taking stock of the room around him. Eliott was relieved that he didn’t see regret in his eyes.

“How long have you been up?” Lucas asked.

“Just for a little while.”

“Were you watching me sleep?”

“You are very beautiful when you sleep,” Eliott said. Lucas rolled his eyes, but Eliott caught the small smile on his lips before he turned away. “If I admit that I was, would it be awkward?”

Lucas laughed. “Not after yesterday. I think that was enough awkwardness to last a lifetime.”

There he was again, being careless with the word choices, “relationship”, “lifetime”; Eliott could not let himself get too attached. 

Lucas sat up so that his back was against the headboard. He looked again at the painting against the opposite wall. “You know, if you had become an artist or I had become a pianist, then we may have never met; we may have never ended up here together.”

Eliott looked at Lucas, then followed his gaze to the painting. “Well, if that’s the case, then I’m glad I sucked at being an artist.”

Lucas laughed. “I don’t really believe that.”

“Believe what? That I didn’t suck as an artist?”

“Well, that either. That painting is...fucking amazing. No, what I meant is that...I think we would have met anyway, no matter what path we would have chosen. You remember that show a while back about the people trapped on an island after their plane crashed?”

“You mean, Lost?”

“Yea, that’s the one. There was this one couple, and I don’t remember the specifics, but I remember that they used the word ‘constant’, as in, in any lifetime they would always be together, they were each other’s constant. What do you think about that?”

“Well, I don’t really believe in lifetimes or multiverses; it sort of makes me feel weird even thinking about it.”

He thought he saw Lucas’s smile falter a little. “What do you mean weird?” 

“I don’t know, it makes me feel lonely, like the only constant thing is just you and your thoughts, over and over again, whether you like it or not...but I like the way you put it. In that version, you would always be there...even if you were just a figment of my imagination.”

“Oh, really?” Lucas asked. “I know I am being kind of ridiculous. We just met, but I don’t know, I already feel like I’ve known you for a long time, or that I’ve known you before.” Lucas wiggled his eyebrows and curved one side of his mouth into a small smile.

“Me, too,” Eliott said. He pulled him close, kissed him on his upturned mouth, caught his smile in his teeth. “Actually...we just formally met yesterday, but I noticed you months ago when I first arrived at the Houston office.”

“Oh, really...so you’ve been stalking me for months?”

“Something like that,” Eliott admitted. “I was just drawn to you...maybe there is something to your ‘constant’ thing.”

He had noticed him the first day he’d joined the Houston office. Lucas hadn’t looked his way, had been busy explaining something to a group of colleagues in the hallway. His office was on the 28th floor of the firm, but he had to visit another attorney on Lucas’s floor. Eliott had taken note of where Lucas’s office was and always found reasons to go to the floor, just to _casually_ walk by it. Although they had an “open door” policy to encourage collaboration and communication between management and staff, Lucas’s door was often closed.

He had only been called on it once when one of the secretary’s explained that they had an interoffice courier service and that he didn’t need to constantly drop files off to people on the different floors. He feigned ignorance, being new and all, but had quickly returned to his floor, a bit embarrassed.

He hadn’t visited Lucas’s floor in a while, but would often attend firm events in hopes of bumping into him, but it never happened. That was until the day before. Eliott had actually been getting ready to leave when he decided to check his email before heading out. He saw that Lucas was still in the building, answered the manager’s email to confirm that he was leaving the office and that his status was “safe”, and hurriedly packed his things to wait at the elevator. 

There were six elevators in the bank, and he had to miss a few that came up from the bottom floor. He kept peering out the interior glass wall that overlooked the lobby and bottom levels below, making sure Lucas hadn’t been on an elevator that had passed his floor. It was the first time he had actually felt like a stalker. As luck had it, Lucas’s elevator stopped on his floor. As luck also had it, the damn thing had malfunctioned.

Lucas’s stomach growled. “Shit, my appetite came back.”

“You get dressed; feel free to wear anything in that dresser over there,” Eliott said, pointing to a large, wooden armoire in the corner. “I’ll whip you up something, and get you ice for that hickey on your neck.” 

Lucas gasped as his hand flew to his neck. He scooched up, looking into the large-framed, floor mirror that was leaning against the wall across from the bed. “Ah, man, I’m going to have to wear a turtleneck to the office. I haven’t had one of these since high school.” He didn’t seem angry, just amused.

Eliott kissed him again before climbing out of bed and pulling on a gray, cotton shirt lying near the edge of the bed. He went to the kitchen to make breakfast for them. He usually ordered in, but he wasn’t sure if anyone was delivering after the storm and he had the sudden urge to make something for Lucas. Thankfully, the electricity was back on. He cut on music and started cooking and singing along.

Thirty minutes later, Lucas entered the room wearing a pair of his jogging pants and a t-shirt. The clothes hung loosely, as Lucas was about a good 4 inches shorter than Eliott’s 6’1” height and of a smaller frame. Eliott couldn’t help but smile. It made him feel warm things seeing Lucas wearing his clothes, so much so that he ran over to grab his face and shower kisses on his lips and neck.

“What is that playing?” Lucas asked.

“It’s Britney...bitch!”

“You listen to Britney Spears?”

“Umm, she is an international treasure who should be protected at all cost.”

“O-K,” Lucas said chuckling and shaking his head. He sat down at the dining table. Eliott smiled as he noticed Lucas tapping one foot to the beat.

The simple eggs and toast Eliott had planned had turned into something he had lost control of about ten minutes earlier, but he was determined to finish. Once he had everything set up on the dining table, he knew he had made a mistake. He had over-peppered the eggs, burned the biscuits, and undercooked the bacon. Lucas almost choked on the eggs and had to gulp down two large glasses of water before he could finally speak again.

“I’m so sorry.” Eliott laughed and tried to hold it in, but the hickey and ill-fitting clothing combined with Lucas’s disheveled hair and the red splotches on his face from almost choking made a comical picture."It literally looks like you’ve been through some kind of storm."

Lucas started laughing as well. “I guess we can’t order in. Are the roads still flooded?”

“I think so, from what I can gather from the news. No one is at the office, yet. The last message was that they’ll let us know when it’s safe to return.”

“I left a box that I need to search through in your car, so I guess I can work while I’m here, and...I’ll make us something to eat.” 

Eliott nodded in agreement as Lucas went to his kitchen to remake breakfast. 

“I’ll set up some space in my office for you to work.”

While Eliott left to get the box out of the car, Lucas salvaged some of what Eliott had cooked and made a fresh plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. He put on a fresh pot of coffee and made a bowl of fresh fruit.

After they ate, Lucas took some time to look around Eliott’s home. He stopped in front of one large wall with a large number of paint cans lined against it. A large painter’s drop cloth was on the floor. Sunlight from the skylight above illuminated the wall.

“What are you going to do here?” Lucas asked as he stood before the blank wall.

“I don’t know, yet. I was thinking maybe something Pollock-like, but I’m waiting for inspiration to strike.”

“Hmmm.” Lucas continued walking, abruptly stopping when he saw the baby grand in a recessed corner of the room. “Aww, why didn't you tell me you played as well when I talked about playing the piano last night?”

“Well, it sounded like you were a professional, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself. I can only play the theme music to Star Wars and a really nice rendition of Boogie Down.”

Lucas fingered the piano like a long lost lover, his long fingers lightly stroking the curves and keys. “It’s beautiful, why do you have it if you don’t play?”

“Don’t judge me,” Eliott smiled. “I just like the aesthetic of a grand.”

“You poser,” Lucas teased.

Eliott laughed. “I also have a collection of rare guitars in a room upstairs, but at least I can sort of play the guitar.”

“Are they hanging on the wall?”

“Some of them,” Eliott admitted.

“Are there any glass cases involved?”

“I will have you know...only one,” Eliott said sheepishly. He knew he was probably red in the face, but he didn’t mind Lucas teasing him; he didn’t mind at all.

He watched closely as Lucas sat down on the bench. He played a few keys, warming up, and then he played, really played, and Eliott at once was transported somewhere he couldn’t describe. He didn’t recognize the song but was so moved by it, he had to sit down on the couch, enraptured with Lucas’s playing. Lucas played the last note and slowly turned around.

“Wow, that was amazing.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to show out or anything. It’s a really nice piano, and although you’re a poser, it sounds like you keep it tuned.”

“Don’t apologize. That was amazing; you are amazing. I don’t know how or why you gave that up.”

Lucas’s face changed slightly, a bit of sadness or melancholy passed across his ocean blue eyes. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”

Eliott was just about to say something to try to cheer him up again when his phone buzzed. He looked down at it and gestured for Lucas to hold on a minute while he walked back to the bedroom. Lucas raised an eyebrow.

“Lucille, what do you want?”

“Is that the way to greet your girlfriend? Is someone there with you?”

Eliott ignored the questions. “Didn’t you leave me to travel with-, what’s his name again? The dog trainer?”

“You and I have an arrangement now...and don’t act like you really care. I don’t think you’ve cared about anything for the last couple of years. You know, even with our _understanding_ , I abstained from dating anyone else until just a few months ago. I can’t say the same for you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to argue." Her voice softened. "I heard about the storm and just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Eliott felt his anger recede; they hadn’t been getting along well since the Paris incident, but she was still his closest friend. They had known each other since they were teenagers when he first moved to Paris. They had seen each other through some pretty tough times in school. 

“I’m ok,” he replied. He paused not sure if it was the right time to bring it up, but he was tired of pretending they were something they were not. “I want to talk to you when you get back. I met someone.” Lucille was quiet on the other end, and he wasn’t sure if she had hung up, but he continued anyway. “He’s special...really special. I think I want to see if I can pursue something with him, and you and I agreed to be upfront with each other if anything like that happened.”

“This isn’t a repeat of Paris, is it?” Her voice changed from warm to cold again, and he felt a part of himself shutdown. Paris had been a very dark time for him, and it hurt that she would throw it in his face, but he also knew that telling her about Lucas probably hurt her, even if she was dating now. 

“That was different...Harper had me fucked up and doing shit I had no business doing; this isn't that.”

“So now it's all Harper’s fault?”

“That’s not what I meant-,” Eliott tried to explain.

“Just don’t get caught up again. I’ll be home soon. We can talk then.”

“Ok. We’ll talk then.” He hung up the phone and turned to see Lucas standing in the doorway.

“Was that ‘It’s Complicated’”? Lucas asked.

Eliott could only huff out a sigh, his previous buoyant mood now dimmed.

“I won’t judge, and I don’t know where this is going, but I can’t be a part of something that’s not over.”

“We have an understanding-," Eliott tried to explain.

Lucas cut him off, shaking his head. “Even with an understanding, I’m not built like that.”

Eliott walked over to him, grabbing Lucas’s face in his hands. “I wouldn’t expect that of you, and that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to explain that Lucille, that’s her name, and I are not...exclusive, so that you wouldn’t feel weird about last night. We don’t even live together anymore. And if you and I were to pursue a relationship, I would break it off completely. I just told her about you. I want to see where this will go.”

Lucas leaned in closer. “Really?” Lucas kissed him lightly on the lips. “And you’re okay with that even though we just met? How long have you known...Lucille?”

“Since we were kids, but it’s more of a romantic friendship...or at least it was. Lately, it hasn’t been very romantic or friendly. And I’m more than ok.” He returned the kiss. “I’ve never felt like this with anyone.”

Lucas smiled. “Same here.” He turned to sit on the bed. “I want to see where this can go, too, and I really don’t need more complications in my life. My dad left my mom two years ago, and she is just now getting back on her feet. I had to have her committed because she was suicidal. When she returned home, her depression was so bad, I had to take off work just to help her; I honestly almost lost my mind and everything else trying to make sure she was better. I just want E-A-S-Y from here on out,” Lucas chuckled. 

Eliott stopped short, his heart, soaring just seconds before, dropping to the pit of his stomach to settle like a cold, hard stone. What the fuck was he thinking? For a minute, he had forgotten everything, all his issues, all the drama, all the baggage and pain that was his life. He knew he had been fooling himself for thinking he hadn’t fallen for Lucas. Lucille’s question about Paris stuck in his mind. Could he trust himself to be a reliable judge of anything anymore? 

He had started a relationship with Harper, a partner in the Paris office. They had managed to keep it private until Eliott had an uncommon manic episode after inadvisable drug use with him. He didn’t blame Harper for his own drug use, but they had not been good influences for each other in that regard. The fallout almost cost Harper his position. They had agreed to get help as part of an internal disciplinary action, and Eliott had been clean for a year. 

He knew Harper was not presently clean, but the firm had kept Harper on as partner on a probationary period after Eliott decided he wanted to work elsewhere. Management had agreed to move Eliott to any of their major offices around the globe. He knew he was a good litigator, but the firm also didn’t want to risk him suing them. It didn’t hurt that his dad also knew people in very high places. They didn’t know he didn’t have any intention of suing or using his dad’s influence, but he had been happy to start over in the States. Lucille had been considering an adjunct English professor position at Rice University; she had decided she was going whether he went or not, so it had worked out for both of them.

Although he didn’t have the wide mood swings he had when he was younger, he still experienced them to some degree, especially when he was sick or stressed. He didn’t want to put Lucas through that, and he definitely didn't want another Paris incident. Was he just being a coward? He was worried that he had already fallen so hard for Lucas, as crazy as that was just after one night of playing damn footsies. He couldn't imagine being the one to hurt Lucas. It would be even harder to recover if they were actually together and he did something to make Lucas hate him. He wanted to stay in the light, airy bubble they had been in before Lucille's call, but life always found ways to burst bubbles.

  
****


	4. Chapter 4

**Lucas**

Lucas was feeling better about their conversation after Lucille’s call, but Eliott still looked a little shaken up. 

Lucas's phone buzzed, and he read the message. They had the “all clear”, and it was safe to return to the office, but management had given them the option of working from home.

“Well, this should be fun, you and I working together here for the day,” Lucas said. He looked up at Eliott who had also looked at his phone. He didn’t say it out loud, but Lucas could imagine a future with Eliott already. He could see them living together, him cooking (definitely after that morning's debacle), sharing a cup of coffee as they bounced ideas off each other about difficult cases...doing other, more pleasurable things together. 

“I think I’m going to go in,” Eliott said. “I can drive you back.”

“Umm...ok.” Lucas was surprised; Eliott seemed like he was looking forward to them spending the day together just a few moments prior.

Eliott must have heard the disappointment in his voice. “I just remembered that there are some files that I really need to review, and I left them at the office," he said by way of explanation. "I’ll make sure your car is working when we get there.”

“O...K.” He walked over to kiss Eliott, wanting him to know that he was still open to beginning whatever "this" was, wanting him to know that they could figure it out together, as long as they were honest with each other. Eliott kissed him back, and before he could register what was happening, Eliott had pushed him against the back of the couch, pressed his lips roughly against his own; the length of his body folded against Lucas's. The kiss was rough and passionate, but then he abruptly pulled back, cupping Lucas's face gently with his hand, resting his head against his own. Lucas felt breathless and wanted more, but after a few seconds, Eliott pulled away and was still quiet...too quiet. 

“Wow. That was good," Lucas was finally able to say after several beats.

“Yea.” Eliott smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Lucas could tell he was aroused, but he couldn’t read him. Lucas thought he had made it clear that he wanted to pursue whatever it was they were trying to build, but he would be patient.

“Well, my clothes should be dry now. I can at least wear the shirt and slacks if not the jacket,” Lucas said, changing the subject.

“I’ll grab them for you.” Eliott walked off to his laundry room as Lucas gathered up the box of files and the few items he had brought with him. 

****

They pulled up to the office building an hour later. The garage was mostly empty, but a few people had decided to return to work. The water had receded around the area. It looked apocalyptic. Downtown, usually bustling with energy at that time, was empty and quiet. The sun was shining, but the sky was still overcast. Eliott drove them to the top level of the garage where Lucas's car was parked. They confirmed that his car was still running before locking up. Eliott debated moving his car so he could charge it but said he would do it later. He grabbed Lucas's box of papers from the backseat, and they walked to a cross-bridge that led to the main part of the building and the bank of elevators there. Lucas felt his face flush as he recalled the last time they were in the elevator. He looked over at Eliott, but Eliott was facing forward, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

“I wouldn’t mind another elevator malfunction,” Lucas joked.

Eliott huffed out a small laugh but didn’t say anything else until the doors opened on his floor. 

“Well...call me if you need anything,” Eliott said as he handed Lucas his box of papers. He finally looked Lucas in the eyes and gave a small smile. “It was nice spending time with you.”

“You, too.” Lucas wanted to kiss him but was unsure if it would be welcomed or reciprocated.

He had never felt such a strong urge to kiss anyone in his life, but here he was smitten, way beyond the age those things were supposed to happen (at least in his opinion). There wasn’t anyone around, but when Eliott didn’t move toward him, he decided against it. Eliott only nodded and headed toward his office. 

****

The following week, Lucas stopped by Eliott’s office, but his door was closed. He knocked and then peeked inside, but Eliott was on a call and put his hand up to let him know it would be a while before he finished. He kept trying to run into Eliott around the office, but it seemed like he could never catch him. He started to think that it was by design; Eliott was deliberately avoiding him. When he texted him to see if he wanted to hang out, he only received terse responses. Eliott would text that he would call him later, but he never did, or text that he was busy and would get back to him as soon as he could get a handle on work.

He was finally able to corner Eliott in the firm's cafe three weeks later. Eliott looked like a deer caught in headlights. Lucas looked around, but the small cafe and adjoining break room were empty.

“What’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?”

Eliott sat down at one of the tables. “I’m not avoiding you; I’ve just been very busy.” He looked up, and Lucas narrowed his eyes. Eliott nervously ran his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath. “I think I moved too fast with you. I’m on thin ice here as it is, and a work relationship would only make things worse. I also thought it would be easier to disentangle my life from Lucille’s, but that hasn’t been the case... I’m sorry for pulling you into my drama.”

Lucas was stunned. He sat down in the chair opposite Eliott. He knew they weren’t serious, or even dating, but he’d thought they left things in a place where they could at least explore what they could be.

“I see,” he finally said after some time. Lucas stared at Eliott and Eliott looked back at him, but quickly looked away, as if it were difficult to meet his eyes for too long. “Well...I hope we can at least be friends.”

“Of course.” Eliott finally looked up again, his gray-blue eyes meeting Lucas’s blue ones once again. There was something there...regret?...sadness?... Lucas couldn’t be sure. “We can be friends...of course.”

“Alright then...friends.” Lucas didn’t expect it to hurt so badly. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach; suddenly, there wasn't enough air in the room. He had to get out of there before he said or did something embarrassing. He got up and headed to the door, once there he turned back to look at Eliott, who was still sitting at the table, his head down, head in hands. “See you later, my friend.”

He returned to his office but didn’t feel like working. He rifled through boxes, still looking for the elusive document that would turn the tide in the Duvall case. He was about to pack up and call it a day, although it was only a little after noon, when there was a tap at his half-opened door. Yann, his friend and colleague poked his head in the door. 

“I am not feeling very motivated today,” Yann groaned as he sat in one of the chairs facing Lucas’s desk. “I called Basile and Arthur, and they are up for an early happy hour. Wanna get out of here?”

"That's a really early happy hour," Lucas teased.

Yann paused finally looking at him closely. "It looks like you're having a rough day and can use it. Is it the Duvall case? I told you to use your resources...delegate, delegate, delegate. That's why we suffered all these years to make it to the top, so we could haze the newbies."

Lucas laughed. "I know, I know." He looked at Yann who stared at him with raised eyebrows as if waiting for him to make the call. He took a deep breath. "Ok, you twisted my arm. Let's go."

There were only a few patrons when they arrived at the bar, but Basile and Arthur sat in a corner booth and excitedly waved them over when they arrived.

Lucas looked around the table, happy that Yann had pushed him to hang out with his friends. They didn't get together too often with Basile and Arthur, mostly staying in contact through social media. All of them had been friends since high school but had gone to different universities. Yann had started law school immediately after graduating from college, so had already been at the law firm a few years before Lucas started; he had been instrumental in helping Lucas snag the high-paying law firm position since all the big wigs loved him and his sharp but funloving personality. 

Basile ordered a round of beers and told the waiter to keep them coming until at least one of them had thrown up.

"Do we have a designated driver?" Lucas asked, looking around the table.

"We'll just Uber and get our cars later; I know the owner," Arthur replied, settling his glasses on his nose and pushing a shock of blonde hair back that had fallen on his forehead. Lucas was in awe at how much he still looked almost exactly like he looked in high school. He thought it might have had to do with the fact that he was an actor and acting coach; it was part of his business to look forever youthful and fit. He had added a little weight to his frame and wore better glasses (he still refused to wear contact lenses, except for roles), but not much else had changed.

Basile had changed the most since high school. After packing on the weight after he and his wife, Daphne (who they had also all known in high school), had their twins, he had taken up running, eventually competing in national marathons. He had lost a lot of weight and had also grown a beard. He'd started balding, his once full, curly head of hair thinning, so two summers before, he had shaved it completely off. If he hadn't kept in touch with him after high school, Lucas wasn't sure he would have been able to recognize him in a crowd. 

Lucas looked over at Yann, still tall, dark and handsome. Yann also still looked the same as he did in high school for the most part, except he wore his hair shorter and dressed in tailored, expensive clothes; his skater boy days were long gone (at least in dress if not in spirit).

Sometimes Lucas missed those days in high school when everything made sense, when it was him and his friends and the hardest thing was figuring out how they would crash parties they weren't invited to (that was until junior year when Yann hit peak popularity and brought them all along for the ride). It had been fun times.

“So how are you and Chloe?” Arthur asked.

Yann shook his head. "Oh, you guys haven't been around much lately. That’s done. Lucas and Chloe broke up over a year ago."

Basile poked his bottom lip out and curved it downward in an exaggerated frown. "I was wondering why you weren't posting many pictures with her. Sorry to hear that, dude."

"It's fine," Lucas said. He really didn't want to go into what happened between them, so turned the conversation around to Basile. "I can't believe out of all of us, you're the one who's settled with kids and a wife."

"What?" Basile looked at him and placed his hand over his heart. "Why are you so shocked?"

They all laughed. 

"I, for one, love your family Basile, but the family life is not for me...at least not yet. I still have a few more years of sowing my wild oats," Yann said.

"Ha, those oats are going to get moldy pretty soon," Arthur teased.

Yann threw a napkin at him but laughed. "What about you, Art?" Yann asked.

"Well...I'm thinking about popping the question soon."

"Oh, wow," Lucas said. "To that girl you met on the last commercial you did?"

"Yeah, that's the one; her name is Liz. You all have to be my best man, no arguing; I'm going to have three best men."

"Fantastic!" Yann said lifting a glass of beer. "Cheers to the upcoming proposal and nuptials, and cheers to us."

"Here, here," they all said in unison as they clinked their mugs together.

The waiter brought out another round of drinks as they continued to catch up on each other's lives. Lucas knew he was being too quiet, but his mind kept wandering back to Eliott and their last conversation.

Yann nudged him. "Are you ok?" he whispered. Lucas nodded and tried to join back in the conversation, which had switched to sports. 

"Earth to Lucas." Arthur snapped his fingers in his direction. "Where did you go?"

Lucas looked up and realized he had missed the last five minutes of the conversation.

"I was asking about your mother," Arthur explained.

"Oh, she's fine now," Lucas answered.

"Why are you so quiet, Lu?" Basile had genuine concern in his voice.

Lucas took a deep breath and looked around the table. The only one that knew about his attraction to men was Yann, and they had only talked about it once several years prior.

"I'm having some relationship problems," he finally admitted.

"With whom? Is she a hotshot lawyer...no, wait...a sexy secretary?" Basile asked.

Everyone groaned. "Now you see why I am so surprised you're the one with the stable relationship?" Lucas jokingly chided him.

Basile chuckled. "Hey, I am happily married, and although my wife is still very, very hot, I've been with the same woman for over a decade; I have to live vicariously through you guys!"

"Oh, how much you have changed, Basile...and yet, you are still the same," Arthur joked.

"And you are still such a jerk to me," Basile sighed, but he was still laughing.

"It's not a woman," Lucas said quietly.

It took a few minutes before what he said registered with everyone. His friends quieted. He looked around the table. Arthur was nodding (an almost proud look on his face, which was puzzling but comforting), Basile's mouth was open, eyebrows almost to the top of his bald head, and Yann had a knowing smile on his lips, probably remembering their conversation from so long ago.

"Huh?" Basile finally asked.

"Yea," Lucas continued. "And he's being hot and cold. It felt like we had really connected, although we haven't...you know...actually connected. I must've misread the situation, but this is new territory for me."

"So, Chloe...?" Basile asked.

Lucas looked over at Basile. "I don't know.This feels different...just more...right and real."

"Hmmm...," Basile hummed. "Maybe you're pansexual."

"I don’t know. I think I’ve always questioned my sexuality, but this is the first guy I’ve actually made out with."

"Well, I say no matter what you are or aren't, love is love," Arthur said, raising his glass high. "Cheers to love!" he exclaimed.

"Cheers to love!" Basile, Yann, and Arthur said in unison. They all clinked mugs again.

Lucas couldn't help the smile that splashed across his face. "Thanks, guys."

They all took a swig of beer and placed their mugs on the table.

"Do I know him?" Yann asked.

"I think so. You know the new lawyer that came from the Paris office?"

"Oh, yea. He's pretty hot, and he's sharp; I've worked with him on a couple of small cases."

"So, this hot Parisian dude, what's his deal?" Arthur asked.

"Well, he has a sort-of-girlfriend and previous work drama, so he said he thinks he went too fast with me."

"So, he's pansexual?" Basile interjected.

Arthur groaned, turning to face Basile. "Dude, keep up. We are trying to help him with his love life.” Arthur turned back toward Yann and Lucas. "I say, men, women, they are similar for the most part...they just have different ways of expressing their emotions. If you think there is something there, make him say that he doesn't feel the same way about you...not that he went too fast, or that he's still stuck on his sort-of-girlfriend, or that he has too many issues at work. Make him express his feelings plainly to you, and tell him how you are feeling about him. Be courageous."

Yann nodded. "I agree, we're too old to be jerking around with these things."

Lucas turned toward Yann, his eyebrows raised. "Hasn't that been your motto for the last few years?"

"Hey, even though I am not monogamous, I am a straight shooter. I always tell the truth, even if it means the relationship won't work because of it."

Lucas laughed. "O...k," he said, dubious about Yann's description of his dating life. But who was he to judge?

He took a deep breath and looked around the table at his friends. "Alright, the next real chance I get, I am going to confront him. I'm going to ask him to tell me how he's feeling about me, about us, and tell him how I'm feeling."

Lucas looked around the table as the conversation switched to Basile's twins. He felt lucky to have the friends that he did. He just wished his love life could work so effortlessly.

****

The following day, one of the partners on the Duvall case called him to let him know they would be meeting in the conference room to discuss changes to the case. Lucas was a little nervous; he knew he had not been working the case as he should and had even stopped communicating with the other associates who were working on the case with him. He hoped they weren't kicking him off of it; he still needed the hours, but more than that, he really wanted to help the plaintiffs get a win.

He arrived at the conference room a little early, and only one person was already there, leaning over a box of papers. He knew who it was immediately.

"Oh hey, Luca." Eliott walked over to him and extended his hand. 

Lucas studied it for a minute and then looked up at Eliott. Eliott's smile faltered before he pulled his hand back and put it nervously in his pocket.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas asked.

"Bill added me to the case. The court date has been set, and they want me to serve as second chair to Bill; which means I am going to probably be doing all the work."

"I didn't know. I wonder why they didn't tell me."

"They just decided to add me yesterday, but when I came by your office to get caught up, you had already left."

Lucas nodded as he walked to the back of the room where several boxes were lined against the wall. "Yea, I had to get away from it all yesterday." He turned to look at Eliott who was studying him. A knowing look flashed across his eyes as if he were remembering their conversation in the kitchen from the day before. He only nodded.

"I'm going to really need your help, Lu Lu...I mean Luca. You know this case backward and forward, and I have to get up to speed pretty quickly."

Lucas sighed. Now was not the time to bring their personal issues up; other people would be arriving soon and they needed to concentrate on the case.

"Alright. Did Bill tell you the main theory we're trying to pursue?"

"He gave me a high-level overview. We're going to try to pierce the corporate veil, right?"

"Exactly, and in one of the depositions, I was able to push the administrative assistant a little before their attorney stopped my line of questioning. What she said makes me believe there is an email out there that is pretty much the smoking gun. It will prove that they funneled a lot of the money into a different company and into their own pockets. I think the judge will side with us and we'll be able to get to their personal assets once we prove liability."

"I have some ideas on the liability issue...so we need to find that document." Eliott's eyes were bright and Lucas was excited that he wasn't letting his jaded view of the law firm's motivations tamper his passion for winning for their clients.

Eliott paused and touched Lucas's hand. "Thank you."

"For what?" Lucas asked.

"For being you."

They both turned around as loud voices neared the room. A couple of the lead partners on the case and a junior associate walked inside and greeted them. Lucas didn't have time to ask Eliott anything further; it was all business after that. But he noticed that Eliott kept glancing at him when he thought he wasn't looking, kept finding ways to brush by him or touch his hand when they passed each other or passed files. The contact made Lucas feel all sorts of things, which he tamped down in order to remain professional in front of the others. They would have to have that talk soon, Lucas thought to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Eliott**

“I found it, I found it!” Lucas yelled. He ran to Elliott and wrapped his arms around his neck. He shook two pieces of paper in his face.

Eliott quickly read over the documents and yelled in joy. It was more than enough to make the other side sweat and could be the difference in a small or big win for their clients.

He wanted to kiss Lucas right then but held back. He had been holding back for some time. It was harder now that they had to work together; they had been spending so much time together at the office in the last few weeks trying to prepare for the trial. Eliott made do with casual touches of Lucas's shoulders or hands. He suspected Lucas knew his touches were intentional by the way he looked at him when he did it, but he couldn't help himself. 

He usually hated working at the office on Saturdays, but he and Lucas had decided they would meet early that morning in Lucas's office and comb through every single box in their possession until they found what they were looking for (or convinced themselves that the document didn't exist or hadn't been sent to them by the defendants).

Eliott glanced over at Lucas who was reading through another file, a large grin on his face. Lucas was dressed casually, a fitted heather gray t-shirt, coral-colored shorts, and tan Dockers. His hair was tousled, messier than he usually wore it during the workweek. Eliott couldn't help staring, and Lucas didn't seem to realize the effect he was having on him. There was a moment when Eliott thought he would have to take a break to take a cold shower in the firm's overnight rooms before he could continue searching for the document. It was a good thing Lucas had finally found it.

There was a knock on Lucas's office door, and Yann poked his head inside. "I thought I heard someone. It's a ghost town around here."

“Well, it is Saturday," Lucas said.

"Even still, there's usually some poor junior associate trying to catch up on the weekend. We must not be making it hard enough for them."

Eliott laughed. "So you're one of those kinds."

"Damn straight!" Yann chuckled, as he sat in one of the chairs in the room. Eliott noticed him looking at Lucas, a question in his eyes, but Lucas quickly shook his head. Eliott pretended to look over the document in his hand. He wondered what that was about.

"So, you guys working on the Duvall case?"

"Yep, and with these documents I just found and the Magna Carta, we'll win."

Yann laughed. "Ok, well I'm heading out. Lucas, remember what we talked about."

Lucas nodded as Yann bid them both farewell.

"What was that about?" Eliott asked.

"Just some work stuff," Lucas replied, except his eyes said it was something else. Eliott didn't pry.

****

The trial started a few weeks later. The case was going well, although it was tedious work because they had so many experts to go through on both sides. The parties had decided on a jury instead of judge trial, so Eliott was in his element. As expected, Bill let him handle most of the cross-examination of witnesses. Lucas sat at the table with them, pouring through redwell folders, writing notes, making sure Eliott had the information he needed when he needed it; they were great together.

The partners took notice and invited them and a few other associates and staff members supporting the case to a rooftop private party. When Eliott arrived he noticed Lucas was already there. It looked like he was well into his fifth or sixth drink. Eliott sat at an empty table nursing his glass of Bourbon. He kept an eye on Lucas but was soon joined by Bill.

"Hey, Eliott." Bill patted him on the back and sat next to him. "I just wanted to say how proud of you I am for catching up so quickly on the Duvall case. You've been great in court, and I'm glad you removed the nail polish and covered up the tats, especially the wrist one...I mean I like them, but the other partners aren't as understanding." 

"Thanks, Bill." Eliott really didn’t want to engage him but couldn’t afford to be rude. He continued to keep his eyes on Lucas as Bill continued speaking.

"This case is really going to help you with the partnership vote. It's why I asked that you were added. I'm looking out for you."

Eliott smiled but noticed that Bill had moved very close to him. He smelled alcohol on his breath. 

"And just between me and you, Harper is a prick."

Eliott jumped, caught off guard by the turn of conversation. "I don't want to talk about that here...or anywhere," he hissed.

Bill put his hand on Eliott's leg, high enough up to be uncomfortable. "I'm just saying, some of us are more balanced and more discreet...if you know what I mean."

Eliott picked up Bill's hand and placed it back on the table. "Bill, don't ever put your fucking hand on my leg again."

Bill lifted his hands up in mock offense. His face reddened, blending in with his red hair and making his freckles stand out, but he still wore a big grin on his face. "I'm just saying-"

He didn't finish his sentence because Lucas stumbled over, pushed the small table in front of them forward and plopped himself down between Eliott and Bill, pushing Bill over with his hip. If Eliott hadn't been so disturbed by the previous conversation, he probably would have fallen over in laughter.

"Hi, guys. What are you two over here whispering about?"

"Nothing much, Lucas," Bill said. "I was just telling Eliott how proud I was of both of you. You're doing a great job on the Duvall case. We make a great team."

"Hmmm," Lucas hummed, looking over at Eliott. Eliott couldn't look him in the eyes.

"I was telling him I was glad he removed the black nail polish for the trial and made sure the wrist tattoo was covered."

"Wrist tattoo...what wrist tattoo?" Lucas asked. 

Eliott knew they had talked about his tattoos when Lucas had spent the night at his house, going over all four of them and what each one meant. The wrist one was new.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it, I need to go see a man about a horse." Bill rose from the table and turned back to Eliott. "Think about what I said, Eliott."

Eliott pointed his middle finger at Bill who only chuckled at the gesture before stumbling toward the restrooms. 

"Are you ok?" Lucas asked. Eliott was touched. Lucas was so inebriated he should have been under the table, but he was still aware enough to worry about him.

"I'm fine, just Bill being the dick that he is."

"Fucking Bill," Lucas slurred.

"Fucking Bill," Eliott agreed. "It sucks he will be one of the ones deciding if I make partner or not, although I'm not sure I even want that anymore."

"I understand that," Lucas agreed. "I just want to get my bonus this year and help these plaintiffs get something meaningful for all their pain." Lucas looked out over the city. They were on the rooftop of one of the tallest Downtown buildings. The skyline glowed brightly before them. "Sooo...new tattoo?"

Eliott looked at him. "It's nothing."

Lucas narrowed his eyes. "I don't recall a wrist tattoo. Is it embarrassing?"

"Very."

"Let me see it." Lucas reached for Eliott's wrist, but Eliott quickly pulled down the sleeve of his shirt and placed his hand on the seat.

"So, how do you feel about the case; think we're going to win it?" Eliott asked, changing the subject.

"I know we will win, the question is: will we get a good payout for our clients?" Lucas turned to face him. "No matter what happens, I just want you to know you are great in court, a natural; it seems like you love it. I love solving the problems, meeting with clients, even deposing witnesses, but I hate speaking in front of others. It gives me anxiety."

"I do enjoy it," Eliott admitted. "I get anxiety, too, but I think of it like acting, which I used to dabble in back in college. I even performed in a little community theatre when I was younger. It helps to pretend that none of it is real...that it's all just one big show."

"Well, the jury is eating out of your hands. It doesn't hurt that you're so fucking hot." Lucas bopped him on the nose with one finger and then put his hand on Eliott's leg as Bill had done a few minutes before.

Eliott welcomed his touch, except not at that time because Lucas was very drunk and was starting to look a little green in the face. A few associates looked their way, including Mika, the lead paralegal, who took a sip of the drink he was holding with a knowing half smile on his lips.

"Luca, I think you've had too much to drink."

“Aww, look at my friend looking out for me.” Lucas stressed the word "friend" as he had done for several weeks since their meeting in the firm's cafe.

"Luca, I think we should get out of here."

"You're right. I think I'm going to be sick." Lucas leaned down as if he were falling over, and Eliott grabbed him to pull him up. Lucas grabbed his arm, turning it around so his palm faced up. He pushed back the sleeve of his shirt.

So...he was drunk but not drunk enough to not catch Eliott off guard. Eliott considered pulling his arm away but didn't want to make any more of a scene.

"You...are...my...constant," Lucas slowly read the script running across the inside of Eliott's wrist, again slurring his words. "Huh?" He looked up at Eliott, and then fell asleep at the table.

Eliott quickly said his goodbyes to everyone and managed to get Lucas to his car. Eliott drove them to his house, parked in his garage, and half-carried, half-lifted Lucas inside. He would have to clean his car as he had not been able to pull over fast enough before Lucas threw up over his front seat and floor. Lucas was surprisingly heavy, but he finally made it to his bed. He removed Lucas's pants and shirt, wiped his mouth with a warm towel, and placed a blanket over him. He kissed him on his head and left to sleep on the couch.

****

The next morning, Eliott made Lucas his hangover concoction. Lucas groaned but drank it down and slept most of the morning away, only waking up long enough to inquire about his car (which Eliott had taken care of) and shower and brush his teeth. Eliott took his car to be cleaned and by the time he returned, Lucas was sitting on his couch, cup of coffee in hand, studying the blank wall.

"Sorry about last night," he said.

Eliott sat down beside him. "No, problem."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"Yea," Eliott said. He looked over at Lucas, at least he hadn't stressed the word friend.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere soon, and we don't have to be back to court until next Thursday. Do you want me to help you with that wall there?"

Eliott had painted the wall a blue for the base color but hadn't made any more progress because he had been too busy with the Duvall case. He studied the wall. He had been meaning to get back to it for weeks.

"You know, that's not a bad idea. It may get our minds off the case for a little while. The expert witness they are calling up next week is going to be tough to crack. I need to focus. Doing something creative always re-centers me."

Lucas nodded in understanding. "I feel that way about my music, but if I play something right now, my headache may return." 

"Ok, let's not overthink it. I have some old jumpers we can wear. Let's open the cans of paint and just go for it."

"Sounds like a plan."

Minutes later and they were standing in front of the wall. Eliott had taped the area and put more drop cloths on the floor. They had splashed a few colors against the blue backdrop, white, red and yellow, and it already looked promising. Lucas looked adorable in the over-sized jumper, so Eliott couldn't resist playfully dabbing his arm with a bit of the paint. Lucas laughed, picked up a bottle of red paint, and spurted a quarter of it on Eliott's chest. 

The paint fight started out innocent enough, but Eliott sensed when the mood shifted. One minute he was laughing and the next minute he had pulled Lucas into his arms to kiss him passionately. Lucas met his passion fully with his own. Lucas moaned as Eliott found his spot again, and he was lost in the need to fill himself up with everything Lucas had to offer. He tugged off Lucas's jumper and then briefs as Lucas did the same to him. He was able to come to his senses long enough to pull away to get protection from the bathroom cabinet. When he returned, Lucas was standing against the wall, wearing nothing but paint, a smile that made him think of the sun, and an erection that he wanted to take care of, so he did.

They made love against the wall and on the drop cloths, paint spilling and splashing on the wall, but mostly on them. Lucas filling him like he had never been filled before - emotionally and physically. Lucas had been willing to learn what Eliott needed, and Eliott had been more than willing to show him; they had connected in every possible way. Afterward, they had cleaned off together in the shower. Lucas had traced the words on his wrist, had kissed him softly as the paint drained at their feet. Lucas was insatiable, and Eliott had happily remained on his knees in the shower until Lucas was spent and drained.

Later that night, Lucas fell into a deep sleep, but Eliott was so excited that he couldn't sleep. He couldn’t stop touching him as he rested; he touched his hair, smoothed the fluffy shock of it into a more manageable form as it dried. He caressed his nose and lips, and kissed his eyelids. Lucas hummed and snuggled closer to him, which made him want to wake him up again. He still looked a little tired from the night before, so he let him rest. 

He had tried to stay away from Lucas, but he knew it had been futile. He had broken up with Lucille two weeks prior but hadn't had the courage to approach Lucas about what he was feeling. He still thought he could be making a huge mistake, but couldn't let him go.

Lucas moaned as he yawned and opened his eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"

"It's morning."

"Hmmm," Lucas hummed. "I want one of those."

"One of what?"

"The tattoo on your wrist."

"You don't even have any tattoos."

"It will be a perfect first tattoo," Lucas said. He kissed Eliott as he crawled over to sit in his lap, facing him. Eliott was immediately hard.

"So no more bullshit, right?" Lucas asked.

"No more bullshit," Eliott agreed.

"I want to see if this will work. You don't have to call me your boyfriend, but I like you...a lot, and I want us to be monogamous until we know if it will work or not."

"I agree, except will you be my boyfriend?" Eliott asked.

He chuckled as Lucas's face reddened. "What, are we in high school?"

Eliott laughed. "I just want to be clear on what we are. You're my boyfriend, my boo, my baby."

Lucas groaned. "You are so corny...I should have known with your obsession with Britney fucking Spears."

"So?" Eliott asked.

"Yes, of course. We're boyfriends." Lucas smiled again and kissed him, pushing his tongue into Eliott's mouth. Eliott returned the kiss, tasting every bit of him until Lucas pulled away. "I still owe you from the shower, and it seems like your dick agrees."

"Oh, so we're going there?" Eliott thought he would explode from need at Lucas's words and the way he was now slowly grinding in his lap. "Fuck, Luca," he sighed. He knew then that Lucas would be his complete undoing, and he wouldn't mind one bit.

"Exactly," Lucas whispered into his mouth. All Eliott could do was moan in response as Lucas kissed his neck, then chest, then moved lower still.

****

The following week was a blur. Instead of packing boxes and files back and forth to their homes, they decided to work in the firm's library near the overnight rooms.

Although the library had laptops and high-end amenities, it had been designed to look like an old English library. A large Oriental rug lay on the floor, and overstuffed leather couches filled the rooms. Law and philosophy books (and a few other popular novels) filled the wooden shelves. The library was one of Eliott's favorite places because it reminded him of his childhood in Europe. The showers and overnight rooms were located at the back of the library. There were five spaces, set up like small, high-end micro hotel rooms, each with their own shower and kitchenette. You usually had to reserve a room, with priority given to those working on the larger, more time-consuming cases. They had registered two rooms, but only used one at night. 

The trial was coming to an end, and it and his relationship with Lucas were going well. Eliott felt like he was on fire. He had never felt so complete, so alive. All gears were clicking and everything was in sync. He knew it had a lot to do with Lucas, so when he looked at his pills one morning he decided he would only take half. He had always thought the dosage was too high anyway, especially now that he was older and his moods more stable. Of course there was a part of him that hesitated, but he had never felt so good before, and he didn't want anything to be dulled. He needed to feel it all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Lucas**

The weeks passed by in a blissful blur. Lucas had been on cloud nine, except now he was dead tired. It had started off well enough. Lucas stayed at Eliott's home often, especially since it was closer to the office. He couldn't spend too much time away from Eliott; he had never felt such a strong need to be near someone else all his life. It wasn't just about the sex, although that was amazing. He loved the small things as well, maybe even more in some ways, things like going to the grocery store together to pick up food for the week or just going out to their favorite diner for a late dinner. Eliott was smart and funny; he was also adventurous and the reason why Lucas was so bone tired.

Eliott had surprised him one "date" night by breaking into an old Downtown building that had been closed for some time. Lucas had been worried about it not being safe (which it probably hadn't been) or that they would end up in jail for trespassing (the firm would not be happy about the headlines on that one), but when they made it to the top of the roof, one of the most breathtaking views of the city he had ever seen had awaited them. Eliott had brought a small picnic of cheese, bread, fruit, and wine, and they had sat on a blanket and looked at the city and sky. The stars, usually hidden by the bright lights of the city, had been visible that night. Eliott had read French poetry by the light of his phone; it had unraveled Lucas in ways he had never felt before.

Other nights, Eliott would wake him up at 2 a.m. to get an early pancake breakfast at the diner; it would be them and a few other stragglers in the diner - usually young party-goers or road-weary truckers. At first, he was little pissed at being woken out of his sleep so early - he really loved his rest - but those quiet moments with Eliott in the dead of night started to be one of his favorite times of the day. He did, however, beg him to make it an "on-occasion" type thing.

The week prior, however, had finally done him in. While neither could keep their hands off each other, Eliott had an unquenchable appetite for everything. Some days they made love four times a day, and it could be anywhere. Lucas had been just as excited at first, but the quickie in the elevator they had first met on had tested the limits of his adventurousness. It had happened on a weekend, and there had probably only been one other person in the office; Lucas had been both extremely turned on and extremely nervous. If there was a security officer watching a camera somewhere, they got a show that night. 

And then there was the impromptu weekend trip to Vegas to cap the week off. The trip had been exciting but out of the blue. Eliott had won $4,000 at the Craps table and had treated those around them to a buffet meal. It had been a fun, crazy weekend.

All of this had happened in a span of a few weeks, and they still had the trial to wrap up. Eliott had been responsible for the closing arguments, and he had done a magnificent job, but Lucas was so bone-weary he struggled to keep up in the end. He knew Eliott was living off no more than a couple hours of sleep each night and a truckload of coffee, but he never seemed tired, although Lucas started to notice dark circles under his eyes.

The trial ended and the jury decided in their favor. Their clients were awarded compensatory and punitive damages as well as their attorneys' fees; it was more than Lucas could have hoped for. They were expecting the defendants to appeal, but they would be ready and could celebrate their victory. More importantly, their clients were happy and hopeful it would all be over soon.

The trial ended in the middle of the week, so the partners gave him and Eliott the rest of the week off. They decided to have a late lunch at Eliott's place after everyone had been dismissed from court. Eliott dug in the refrigerator trying to find something to cook while Lucas straightened up the living room.

"Hey, we can just order in," Lucas said. 

"No, no, I want to make us something nice. We just won probably the biggest case of our career. I'm thinking lobster, shrimp...escargot."

"Let's just do something simple. You've been working yourself to the bone, and we've literally been living our best life for the last couple of weeks." Lucas sighed, "I am happy but dog tired."

"I just really have a taste for something decadent, you know..." Eliott snapped his fingers as if he had just thought of the perfect food that would satisfy his craving. "A cake, like a two-tier wedding cake; you always need to celebrate with cake." He snapped his fingers again. "And champagne, we definitely need champagne!"

"Are you ok, babe?" Lucas glanced at Eliott. He understood him being excited; the case had been a big win for them and it would definitely clinch the partnership vote for Eliott. Lucas would have probably been just as amped up if he wasn't almost falling asleep on his feet. He wanted to grab Eliott and pull him to the bedroom, so they could do nothing more than sleep for three days straight.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, on top of the world." Eliott pulled out random items from the freezer and cabinets. None of it looked like it could be combined to make anything appetizing.

Lucas studied Eliott for a minute. The dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced, maybe it was more than excitement from winning the case. Lucas thought he needed to convince Eliott to lay off the coffee and energy drinks now that the trial was over. He put down the dustpan and walked over to Eliott to hug him close, hoping to calm him. 

He closed the refrigerator and turned Eliott around to face him. "How about we go take a warm bath, do Postmates from our favorite Chinese restaurant, and find a movie to watch in bed?"

Lucas held him close, pulled his face down to his own and kissed him. It seemed to settle him. Eliott smiled and nodded, and Lucas placed the frozen items back in the freezer and headed to the bedroom.

****

They ate in bed and found the original Star Wars movie and watched it, but Lucas kept dozing in and out of sleep. He woke up, and the television had switched to the screensaver. The clock blazed 2 a.m. He reached to grab for Eliott, but the other side of the bed was cold. He sat up and listened to the house; it was quiet -- too quiet. He checked the bathroom, the lower level and the top level where the other bedrooms and small patio were. The house was empty. He checked the garage; Eliott's car was gone. He ran back to the bedroom to check his phone when it rang; it was a number he didn't recognize.

"Hello, Lucas...it's Lucille. Are you at Eliott's?"

"I am. We fell asleep watching a movie and when I woke up he was gone."

"You have to go get him. He's at the 24-hour Mart on Davis. He's crying in an aisle and won't budge. I tried to explain to them what was going on so they wouldn't call the cops or ambulance, but I'm sure they probably have already. Just hurry."

"What's going on, Lucille?" Lucas asked as he started to pull on sweat pants and a t-shirt. Lucas's heart was racing. He knew something had been wrong with Eliott. Why hadn't he pushed and made sure he was fine?

"So he didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" Lucas felt his heart drop. He knew whatever she said next would change everything. He mentally reviewed the past week and had an inkling of what could be going on because of his history with his mother.

"He's bi-polar, Lucas, and I'm sure the stress of the trial and everything else hasn't helped. Do you know if he's been taking his medicine?"

Lucas sat on the edge of the bed. "Well, obviously not if I didn't even know he was bi-polar." His tone was sharp, so he took a deep breath. It wasn't Lucille's fault. Why hadn't Eliott told him? He recalled their conversation from a few months before. He remembered the times he shared with Eliott how difficult it had been for him to deal with his mother's mental illness.

"Sorry, I thought about trying to call you and talk to you," Lucille continued. "Eliott wouldn't give me your number, but your office number is listed on the firm's website. He's been through something similar. It's like this when he starts a new relationship. It's a repeat of Paris. He falls for someone, goes off his meds, and then comes crawling back to me when the depression hits. But he told me weeks ago that he doesn't want anything to do with me right now, although I was the person he called today. It took some time, but I convinced him to give me your number, so we could talk."

"I'm glad you did," Lucas sighed. They said their goodbyes as he put on his sneakers and headed out the door. Lucas would worry about what she said later. How many relationships? Lucille made it sound like a lot, made it sound like he was just another passing fad, and if not responsible, the catalyst for Eliott's episode. 

He drove to the store and found Eliott in one of the aisles. Thankfully, the store hadn't called the police, yet, although the manager advised they were minutes away from doing just that when he arrived. Luckily, the manager remembered Eliott from previous visits, so had held off after speaking with Lucille.

There were open boxes and jars of food scattered on the floor. Eliott sat in the middle of it all, his head in his hands.

Lucas knelt beside him. "C'mon, Eliott. Let's get out of here."

Eliott shook his head and didn't budge. Lucas noticed that his eyes were red as if he had been crying.

"I can't do this, Luca. I thought I had this beat by now. I've had to fight for too long. I'm tired of being tired."

Lucas didn't know what the future held, but he knew he needed to get Eliott out of the store and back home. "Eliott, you don't have to fight this alone. I am here now. I don't plan on going anywhere."

Eliott shook his head. "I don't want you to have to do that, Luca. Just let them call the police or whatever."

Lucas sat down beside him, peanut butter smeared on his pants leg, but he barely noticed. "Well, I guess I'm going to just sit here with you. They can take me, too, because I don't want to go home without you."

Eliott didn't reply just kept his head down. Lucas reached down and grabbed his hand. One of the store attendants approached them, and Lucas shook his head and put his other hand up to request a few minutes. The attendant sighed but nodded and walked away.

They sat like that for a few minutes. Lucas noticed as silent tears started to fall from Eliott's eyes, but he remained quiet. Right when he thought the manager would surely return, Eliott finally turned to him.

"You're fucking stubborn," he said.

"I know...so come home, or we're going to the station, the hospital, or under a fucking bridge together."

Eliott nodded and slowly rose from the floor, pulling Lucas up. They gingerly stepped over the broken glass and smeared foods and walked out of the store. Lucas told the manager they would return the next day to pay for the destroyed items and pick up Eliott's car.

When they made it to Eliott's home, Lucas bathed him and made him hot tea as Eliott rested in bed. Eliott finally fell asleep and stayed in bed through the morning, but Lucas couldn't sleep. He kept watch over Eliott, wanting to make sure he didn't leave again or do anything to harm himself.

Lucille called him late the next day to get an update. She advised him to let Eliott rest but to get him to see his doctor in the next couple of days, especially if he had not been taking his medication. She told him to ask Eliott to get him access to his medical records and care if they were going to be together. Lucas didn't know if Eliott even wanted him in his life; he doubted he would want him having access to his medical records. He hadn't even told him about his mental illness. Lucas could blame some of his preoccupation on the trial, but he wondered how he could miss such a huge thing.

Lucille also told him that she had been too harsh the night before, jealous even. It had been a rough couple of weeks for her worrying about Eliott who had stopped contacting her and answering her calls. She explained that Eliott had been with a couple of others before while they were together and had a habit of falling quickly, but that he had never spoken of anyone the way he spoke of Lucas. She supposed she had never heard him describe any other connection he'd had the way he described his connection with Lucas...even the one he shared with her. Lucas had apologized to her, for what he didn't know, maybe for falling in love with her best friend and lover because Lucas knew he was head over heels in love with Eliott. There was no denying it.

Lucas did as Lucille advised and let Eliott sleep, only waking him to try to get him to take food or water. Eliott begged him to go home, to just leave, but Lucas convinced him to let him stay. He sat in the bed, catching up on his reading, while Eliott slept. Eliott mostly kept his back to him, but on the third day, in the middle of the night, Eliott turned in the bed and wrapped his arm around him from behind. He snuggled his face into Lucas's back. He didn't say anything, but they remained in that position all night.

The next morning, Lucas woke to Eliott sitting up in bed.

"Can we talk, Luca?"

"Of course whenever you're ready." Lucas sat up in bed to sit beside Eliott. He reached for Eliott's hand but Eliott pulled it away. Lucas felt a lump in his throat as his heart started to race. He took a few silent deep breaths and remained still and quiet.

"This isn't going to work. I don't want to bring you into any of my bullshit. I know you said you didn't care about what happened in Paris, but what happened there nearly cost the guy I was dating his career because I couldn't keep my shit together and completely lost it in the office one day. I don't want you to ever have to go through any of that."

Lucas tried to interject but Eliott continued, so he quieted, letting Eliott express what he needed to get off his chest. "I'm a lot better than I was when I was younger," Eliott continued, "but the depression still hits me hard...sometimes for months at a time. I don't want to make your life unhappy...it will be a living hell being with me. And you said yourself that you barely made it through dealing with your mother's illness."

"You can't make my life hell, Eliott. I control how I feel, I control my happiness...not you. There is no fucking way I could ever be unhappy with you." He grabbed Eliott's hand again; this time Eliott squeezed it back and didn't let go. "What you have done for me in the short time we've known each other...you've turned my life upside down, but in the best possible way."

Eliott shook his head and Lucas paused, gathered his thoughts as his mind reeled. He wanted to let Eliott know how complete he made him feel, how his life made sense now, but he felt words couldn't capture what he felt. "Can I kiss you?"

Eliott turned to face him. They stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other's eyes. Eliott finally nodded. Lucas kissed him then, trying to put every emotion he had into the kiss -- all the love and hope that Eliott made him feel. He felt wetness on his cheeks and realized he was crying. When they pulled away from each other, there was a small smile on Eliott's lips. 

"Eliott, I don't know if the purpose of life is to always be happy, but you make me happy even when I have a horrible day. I want to put up with your shit, just like you'll have to put up with mine. Your illness won't be a burden to me. When I was going through all of that stuff with my mom, I had just gone through the breakup with Chloe, I was doubting my ability or desire to practice law, I was depressed about not continuing with my music, hell, I was coming to terms with my sexuality. It was a lot going on, and I put too much of the blame on what was happening with my mother. I didn't know how to ask for or seek help for my own shit. I've had some time to think about that. Just being with you has made me realize what a crappy, non-existence I was living before."

Lucas finally took a breath. Eliott was quiet, but at least he had not let go of Lucas's hand.

"Have you been taking your medicine?"

"Now you're the medicine police? Lucille and you are best friends now?"

"You don't have to get defensive; it's just a question."

Eliott sighed. "I felt so good with you. I thought I was better. I took it, but not like I should have," Eliott finally admitted. 

"Ok, do you think we can visit your doctor together, make sure everything is alright so you can get back on track?"

"I can do that on my own, Luca. I don't want to bring you in on all of that shit. I so desperately want this to work, but this relationship is not going to last; we will implode, and it will be because of me." 

"How do you know what will happen, huh? I thought you were a sexy, talented litigator and a mediocre artist, not a fortune teller."

"Mediocre artist, huh?"

"Yea, I was just telling you that your stuff was so great to get in your pants."

Eliott laughed, "Oh, really?"

"You kinda fell for it," Lucas teased. "Let's not overthink this, Eliott. I told you we didn't have to be boyfriends or anything with a label. Let's just take this day by day, minute by minute. Let's keep it chill for now."

Lucas didn't really want to keep it chill but didn't want to push too hard. From the way Eliott had kissed him back, he knew Eliott felt the same way he felt, but he also knew Eliott would run thinking that he was protecting Lucas.

He pulled Eliott's face to his own, placed his head against Eliott's head. "Is that ok?"

Eliott smiled with a smile that finally reached his eyes and nodded.

They kissed then. When they pulled away, Eliott gently wiped the tears from Lucas's eyes. "No matter what happens, Lu Lu, I want you to know that I love you."

Lucas smiled. "I love you, too, Eliott."


	7. Chapter 7

**Eliott**

**12 months later**

Eliott and Lucas were getting ready that evening for an early dinner and concert. Lucas had surprised Eliott with Britney Spears’s concert tickets for his birthday a few weeks earlier. They would be celebrating a great past year. Lucas had been awarded a sizeable bonus and had paid his mom’s house off. Eliott had made partner, but a few months after that, left to start his own firm. Lucas joined him a month later. 

Lucas started playing the piano regularly again, and he and Eliott had put on a community theatre show in their neighborhood. Lucas played the piano and Eliott played guitar. There was singing, dancing, and comedic skits. The show raised money for indigent clients who couldn’t afford legal help. They had been able to raise a sizeable amount, especially when Lucas convinced his friend Arthur, who was pretty well known in indie movie circles, to participate. 

Eliott and Lucas had grown even closer, and he never stopped feeling the same way he felt that night on the elevator -- alive and excited for what the future held. He had been doing better with his medication and Lucas had been patient, giving him the space he needed to work things out. Lucas had also started counseling on his own, and Eliott noticed a positive change in how Lucas dealt with his own anxiety.

“So, I noticed you added that song to the next show’s playlist,” Eliott said. He reached around Lucas to grab his toothbrush out of the cabinet while Lucas flossed. 

“You’re talking about the one I played for you the first time I stayed over?”

“Yea...so it’s called ‘I Love You,’ huh?” Eliott smiled at Lucas as he noticed his neck flush.

“Yep, what of it?” Lucas finished flossing and rinsed his mouth with mouthwash. He looked in the mirror at Eliott. “I knew then, you know.”

Eliott nodded. “Good because I knew the first day I arrived at the office when I saw you for the first time...before we even met on that elevator.” 

Lucas smiled, his face cracking wide open; it was one of the million things Eliott loved about Lucas - his smile had to be high on that list, though. Lucas leaned over to kiss him even though Eliott's mouth was still full of toothpaste.

Eliott felt like a new man. He was more excited than usual because he knew before the night was over Lucas would both love and hate him. The promotion company for the Houston Britney Spears concert was a client of their old firm, and he knew the CEO. Britney’s people had agreed, and unknown to Lucas, Britney was about to be a part of their story forever. There was a small, gold band in a velvet box in his pocket, with the words, “My Constant” engraved inside, and he was about to do something very embarrassing on stage. He figured Lucas would eventually forgive him...probably.


End file.
